'30 Rock': Hookup on the Orient Express (Malarkey!) | EW.com

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'30 Rock': Hookup on the Orient Express (Malarkey!)

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30-ROCKImage Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCFresh off her breakup from Pilot Carol, our dear Elizabeth Lemon decided to accept her downward spiral into spinsterhood. She rocked a fanny pack and held her hair back with a chip clip. For icing on her spinster cake, she adopted a cat and named her Emily Dickinson. She completed her look with an oversize hoodie and sweatpants. (But I don’t judge on that last one. Liz Lemon might just be my frumpy fashion icon. Truth.) Jenna wanted to help Liz rebound…sexually. So, she took her to a club that only Lemon could enjoy. At first, Liz was hesitant of the “hipster nonsense” but she came around after meeting the suave Anders. (AKA the yummy Eion Bailey.) The new couple hit it off, complete with a full-on spinning camera kiss outside the bar. It was then I cried, “Malarkey!”

Did Lemon really hit it off so quickly with someone not related to her? Well she hit it off well enough to make it to first base, which is what Jack considers sex with a stranger. But despite what Dennis may say, Lemon’s no dummy. She began to piece together the plot all of her TGS co-workers worked up to get her life going again. In an epic nod to Agatha Christie and her Murder on the Orient Express, Liz made sense of her one-night stand. But instead of going with the obvious conspiracy theory to explain her hookup, Lemon chose to believe this: “Liz Lemon got some and felt good about it!”

Meanwhile, Jack was prepping for licensing negotiations between NBC and Kabletown. His home life with the Trinidadian night nurse, Sherry, seemed to mirror work as he tried and failed to negotiate her salary. Are you telling me Jack Donaghy can’t negotiate a simple salary? I cry malarkey again! Turns out the emotional component of her taking care of his newborn, Liddy, gave Sherry all the leverage. He tried to take it away by saying he didn’t even care about the baby. This lasted all of two seconds until he heard Liddy cry over the baby monitor. Instead of a fair salary, he ended up agreeing to send every member of Sherry’s family to college. Despite being “reamed by a woman wearing Winnie the Pooh hospital pants,” Jack was able to use this lesson to his advantage in his real negotiations. Nicely played, Mr. Donaghy.

Over in people-who-are-not-Liz-and-Jack land, Pete and Frank formed a band. Apparently, Pete once lived the dream for three months when he was in Loverboy. (Not really, people.) That is until he gave it all up for a college scholarship to study TV budgeting. But you know what? “It’s never too late for now. / Yesterday’s dreams are gone. / But today I’m singing this song!” And thus, Sound Mound was born. Also, the catchphrase “It’s never too late for now” will start being used by 30 Rock fans everywhere.

Other “It’s Never Too Late For Now” highlights:

++ “And I blew all three (long pause) opportunities!” –Lemon on her past failed relationships

++ Lemon knowing that she could fit (cat) Emily Dickinson’s entire head in her mouth

++”My fanny pack is in my office in my mini fridge. I like my tampons cold!” –Liz (and really, who else could it be?) I’m not sure if I even want to know if this is a real thing women do.

++ The only thing Jack and his new daughter have in common is a fondness of Avery’s breasts.

++ “How about this for ID: I participated in Hands Across America.” –Lemon to the bartender after she realized her license is missing

++ Yuki, Sound Mound’s version of Yoko Ono

++ “My heart’s pounding like I’m watching Oprah’s farewell season!” –Lemon

++ Canal Yards Project = Tracy Jordan’s Place

++ “He was not a Swiss prostitute that Martha Stewart recommended to me.” – Jack’s response to who Anders was

I love 30 Rock so much I often find it can do no wrong. Last night had a lot of great Liz Lemon one-liners (i.e. learning her hair color is called “Grandfather’s Shoe”), but I thought the episode as a whole fell a little flat. Maybe it was Tracy’s absence. Or maybe I missed hearing Kenneth’s voice. (I’m pretty sure the only sound he made the whole episode was clapping as Liz unraveled the hookup conspiracy.) But as they say (and by they, I mean me),  a bad day of 30 Rock beats a good day of anything else. What did you think of last night’s episode? It’s never too late to now share your comments below.

Follow Breia on Twitter: @breiabrissey

Originally posted February 18 2011 — 1:30 AM EST

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