Image Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBCHere in its fifth season, TGS seems to have lost its way. You probably don’t even remember this, but TGS (formerly known as The Girlie Show) started as a show for women, starring women. As such, our dear Elizabeth Lemon believes the show should be “elevating the way women are perceived in society.” But it turns out, TGS can’t help but do the opposite. When Jenna ended up on the cool, feminist blog Joan of Snark, Liz discovered the post “TGS Hates Women.” (Note to all humans, JoanOfSnark.com doesn’t really exist. I tried it, and it only redirects you to this NBC page.) With Tracy gone to Africa, Liz thought the show was doing an even better job of featuring women. But all of their women-centric sketches ended with said women getting their periods. It was weird. Then, Lemon got her period and fired everyone. Maybe it’s time to rethink some things.
Lemon, who supports women so much she’s actually like a human bra, decided to hire Abby Flynn as a female guest writer. Jack opposed the idea at first, but after seeing Abby’s picture, he demanded Lemon hire her immediately. He then attributed it to Hank Hooper’s brilliant advice: “New blood is the life blood of every company’s blood.” Abby arrived, and was a total hot mess. She sucked her thumb, dressed sexy(?), and had even mastered a baby voice. It was creepy. And while the male writers seemed to enjoy it, Lemon made it her new mission to “fix” Abby. And with Oprah’s strength, she just might do it. After talking to Abby didn’t work, Lemon dug up old footage of the real Abby Flynn (née Abby Grossman) and called her out on her act in front of the other writers. Turns out, Abby’s new identity was really to hide from her insane ex-husband. Poor, Liz. Maybe she really does hate women.
Meanwhile, Jack was working on a plan to succeed Hooper once he left Kabletown. Unfortunately, since Kabletown is a family owned company, Jack’s newest rival was Hooper’s 14-year-old granddaughter, Kailey. He tried to convince Kailey that she could live out her dream of being a marine biologist. He spoiled her with a private tour of the American Museum of Natural History with famed oceanographer, Bob (short for Bobbert) Ballard. Jack thought his plan was working, but then he realized Kailey might just be besting him at his own game. Who would have thought Jack’s greatest enemy would be a ninth grader who hates the ocean because it’s for tools? This rivalry isn’t over, kids. Kailey Hooper might just bring down Jack Donaghy. (Okay, probably not.) But only time will resolve this feud.
Other highlights of “TGS Hates Women”:
++ Ruth Bader Ginsburg has the worst celebrity beach body, according to JoanOfSnark.com
++ “I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.” –Lemon to Jack
++ “Isn’t that the guy who outbid no one for NBC?” –Lemon about Kabletown’s Hank Hooper
++ “What most people don’t know is that NBC is still a network.” –Kenneth giving Kailey Hooper a tour of the building
++ “When I first started working here, an 8-year-old Shirley Temple taught me how to roll a cigarette.” –Kenneth
++ “Who thinks that gesturing with one’s thumbs is for poor people, and is going to be the next CEO of Kabletown? This guy!” –Jack, as he gestures with his pinky fingers
++ “First of all, Steve Carell owns ‘that’s what she said.’ He owns it!” –Lemon
++ “Liz Lemon is a Judas to all womankind.” –Abby Flynn after Lemon outed her true identity
What did you think of last night’s episode? My notes were full of funny one-liners, but I obviously didn’t include them all. I don’t care if you have your period, get to commenting now and leave you legacy. You know commenting on PopWatch posts is how you’ll want to be remembered.