Charlie Sheen is a wordsmith, at least that much is abundantly clear from the last few days of complete Sheen overload. Say what you will about his lifestyle, mental state, personal character, or general status as a human being, but quotes like “I am battle-tested bayonets” and “can’t is the cancer of happen” sound more like they erupted half-formed from the mind of William S. Burroughs than the former star of Two and a Half Men.*
Well, it turns out that Sheen recognized his own bonkers lyricism and tried his hand at writing poems, even going so far as self-publishing a (now out-of-print) collection in 1990 which can be seen on Amazon. The book, called A Peace of My Mind and featuring illustrations by writer/director/Sheen-pal Adam Rifkin, presumably gives readers some insight into the cage-match of crazy that is Sheen’s unique worldview. Interestingly enough, it appears that Sheen also narrated some of his work for Rifkin’s film Tale of Two Sisters, the trailer for which can be found here. The movie looks like a grainy, early-John-Waters trip, but the real star is the poetry, which Sheen reads somberly and seriously. I’ve transcribed what’s in the trailer for your amusement and literary betterment.
Afternoon chaos turned to laughter,
As the lady in grey pierces the surface of the private aquarium,
Peach body held tight by the warmth of day,
Eyes fixed to locate, steady flow consumed,
A charred eruption takes suddenly the safety from her glow.
No place to hide, clear water raging black,
Looking hard for shallow hope, it’s gone, she consumed it.
Mascara bleeding, eyes of fire turned to stone,
Forced smile fading, laughing jackal breaks the leash.
*Interesting factoid: Both Burroughs and Sheen accidentally shot their significant other at some point in their lives. The more you know!