Dan Snierson
March 04, 2011 AT 05:00 AM EST

1. Madonna’s daughter says she and Madonna steal each other’s clothes
”Oh, so that‘s why some of my stuff is missing,” said Madonna. ”I think I owe Gaga an apology.”

2. Justin Timberlake, Larry David rumored to be in consideration to play Larry in Three Stooges film
Wonder if these two get sick of always bumping into each other in casting waiting rooms…

3. Sylvester Stallone’s abstract artwork sells out at exhibit
Worried that the paintings would be stolen, the gallery installed a voice security system that warns ”Stop! Or my muse will shoot!”

4. Justin Bieber’s name floated for role in next G.I. Joe movie
If we freaked out that much over a hair trim, news of a buzz cut could push us to DEFCON 1.

5. ABC nixes Oscars plan for Will Arnett to streak across stage
You’re not going to let the guy in the $4,000 birthday suit show it off? Come on!

6. Man detained at Sharon Stone’s house; he claims it was given to him by Hillary Clinton
Strange twist in the Whitewater scandal.

7. Queens of the Stone Age guitarist says he performed drunken surgery on fan
Said Led Zeppelin: ”So what? One time we [censored] Steve McQueen’s motorcycle [censored] French twins [censored] hotel balcony [censored] with a Sherpa!”

8. Don Johnson cast as hairstylist in NBC drama pilot
Well, they haven’t told him exactly what he’ll be playing. Just that he’ll be involved in lots of blowouts and one character will dye per episode.

9. Mariah Carey reportedly spent $1.3 million on nursery featuring diamond-encrusted iPods and 18k-gold-trimmed walls
And you won’t believe Nick Cannon’s playpen!

10. New Peanuts comics may be issued, first since 2000
They’ve tried this repeatedly over the past few years, but every time there was a run-up to the big moment, someone yanked it away from the printer.

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