Sound Bites: March 11, 2011 | EW.com

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Sound Bites: March 11, 2011

The best lines from the week in TV, featuring ''The Celebrity Apprentice,'' ''Modern Family,'' and ''Jimmy Kimmel Live!''

”Richard, you did call him little, you called him sensitive, and you called him delicate. These are not adjectives that most men would want to be described [as].”
— Ivanka Trump, recapping Richard Hatch’s description of David Cassidy, on The Celebrity Apprentice

”I want a baby. One of my own. Preferably a boy. And in brown.”
— Renee (Vanessa Williams), to Lynette (Felicity Huffman), on Desperate Housewives

”Relax, half the 11th grade’s been inside this sweater.”
— Alex (Ariel Winter), on borrowing a sweater from Haley (Sarah Hyland), on Modern Family
”Is there a tri-polar? Maybe he’s that.”
— Jimmy Kimmel, on Charlie Sheen claiming he’s not bipolar, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

”Melissa doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s my daughter — the only tool she’s ever used before this is a mascara brush.”
— Joan Rivers, on Melissa assembling a bed, on Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?