There are a billion reasons for fans of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! to be happy today: Gary Sanchez Productions — a division of It’s Will Ferrell’s Comedy World, We just Live In It Inc. — announced that Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim’s new film has picked up a distributor and oodles of financing. So now it seems to be only a matter of time before Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie, which has already begun production, comes to a theater near you. I’m eager to see how/if the duo’s bizarro, ambitiously lo-fi, public-access-on-acid humor translates from 11-minute episodes on Adult Swim to the big screen, and curious to learn more about the plot: All we know is that our two dudes “get a billion dollars to make a movie, only to watch their dream run off course.”
While I’m game for anything — if you watch Tim and Eric, don’t you have to be? — here are a few things I might hope to see. Do you know what happens when two guys watch a billion dollars go down the tubes? They experience massive stress and bleeding orifices among other health issues, requiring the care of a semi-licensed medical professional (as in John C. Reilly’s Dr. Steve Brule, ya dummy!). They also reach out to their friends, who band together to raise more money to put the boys back on track. This could very well happen in the form of a telethon (hosted by Weird Al’s Uncle Muscles, with special performances by James Quall, Pierre, Will Grello, a resurrected (again!) Casey Tatum, etc.). Said telethon could be sabotaged by an evil corporation named Cinco, which is planning to unveil their latest contraption (an aerial security system that combines the flying capability of a sparrow with the natural defense mechanism of a skunk…hmm) and for some flimsy reason doesn’t want Tim and Eric to release their movie. But what those sinister Cinco suits aren’t counting on is a sacrifice by Spagett, who uses the art of non-surprise in a shocking way, and the high-gear bravery of Bush and Ted, who crash the proceedings on their own crazy contraption: The recumbent bike. Bad news: They are shot 804 times by Cinco soldiers. Good news: They are nursed back to health on the spot — thanks to the two-armed huggy magic of The Snuggler, a.k.a. Tairy Greene, a.k.a. Zach Galifianakis — and quickly cuff the Cinco villains. As a feel-good bonus, this Story of the Century is broken by… Channel 5’s Only Married News Team, Jan and Wayne Skylar! Or not. That was just the first idea that popped into my head. It’s your turn. What do you want to see in this Tim and Eric movie, PopWatchers?