1. Elton John reveals that Lady Gaga is his son’s godmother
As for the godfather, Elton noted coyly: ”It takes the Village People to raise a child.”
2. Bravo cancels Real Housewives of D.C.
Don’t worry, the Salahis plan to join Real Housewives of Atlanta. They swear they have the invitation here somewhere…
3. Natalie Portman breaks silence on Black Swan stunt-double controversy: ”I know what went on”
But we don’t, Natalie, so send over all footage. Including the scenes of you in bed with Mila. Gotta be thorough.
4. Glenn Beck’s show to leave Fox News
Ratings were down, and even fans were describing it as ”nails on a chalkboard filled with crazy theories.”
5. 52-year-old man buys Justin Bieber’s right shoe for $1,425 at charity auction
For no extra cost, he’ll be hated by tween girls and watched closely by authorities.
6. Kate Gosselin’s former marriage counselors sue her, alleging she never paid $10,000 bill
That figure, of course, includes the marriage counselors’ bill for their own therapist.
7. Jersey Shore party pad in Seaside Heights renting for $3,500 a night
For those who like to flush money down the toilet but wait a week before calling the plumber.
8. Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy reenters charts at No. 198 after Best Buy sells excess copies for $1.99
Looks like that ”Discounted a buck for every year it took to make!” promotion is paying off.
9. Angelina Jolie causes commotion while visiting Libyan refugees in Tunisia
A crisis was averted when she adopted them all. Or maybe that’s what caused it. Let me get back to you.
10. College comedy troupe debuts Human Centipede: The Musical!
Horrifying. Perverse. Yet still more humane than Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.