Piotr Sikora
Karen Valby
April 17, 2011 AT 06:29 PM EDT

The last thing I need in my life is another reality TV show. And yet I find myself inexplicably drawn to the promised antics of these Staten Island Four. (Particularly Drita, the blonde-ish one who looks straight out of a Dennis Lehane novel.) A couple questions before tonight’s premiere: Can I write “bitch” on this blog or will my editors make me type b^#!% over and over and over again? How much do tips cost these days? Is Renee’s I’ma-being-choked face real or a put-on? Do these broads make the Real Housewives of New Jersey look like your average suburban book club? (This month the ladies meet at Teresa’s to discuss The Red Tent!) I do take a certain pride in never having seen an episode of Jersey Shore. So. I’ve got that going for me.

Who’s with me? Don’t make me watch alone.

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