EW Staff
April 29, 2011 AT 04:00 AM EDT

”She’s looser than a thrift-store turtleneck and probably just as diseased.”
— Sue (Jane Lynch), on substitute teacher Holly Holliday (Gwyneth Paltrow), on Glee

”Wait, I think I hear future Lily sending us a message from her stripper pole: ‘Thanks, gay dead dads, this dance is for you.”’
— Cameron (Eric Stonestreet), who was reluctant to have Jay (Ed O’Neill) raise his daughter, on Modern Family

”Zerts are what I call desserts. Trey-treys are entrées. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool-blasterz, with a z. I don’t know where that came from.”
— Tom (Aziz Ansari) on Parks and Recreation

”You’re hot. I love you. That’s all.”
— Judge Jennifer Lopez, to Stefano Langone after he was voted off, on American Idol

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