Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and Maks’ ass. Sure, they may not all be *hidden,* but as EW.com’s Supervising Appraiser, I can happily confirm they’re all priceless. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!
MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK: ‘CSI: MIRRORBALLUS’ EDITION
WHO IS DONNIE BURNS?
“The lost brother of Barry Manilow?” —Patrycja
“Stanley Tucci’s character from Shall We Dance.” —Fridge
“Tim Allen as Santa Claus with a shaved beard.” —Theballasfamilyiscrazy, endorsed by Amy in Pittsburgh, Xorp, Joan Holloway, duranmom
“The guy Bridget Jones’ mother dates after she leaves her father.” —EW.com’s Fringe Fairy
“Whoopi Goldberg in drag in The Associate, only with a tan.” —Liz, endorsed by duranmom
“Weirdly tanned, Bruce Jenner hair guy.” —Kelly, endorsed by Jen P.
“I want guest judge Donnie to grab the microphone and yell ‘LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE’…he just reminds me of that announcer.” —LDS, endorsed by caryn c
“Ralph, backing up from Karina’s giant hoop earring, during their group dance rehearsal.” —Kevin M. Kawa, endorsed by LAGAW
“Whoa! One of Karina’s Hidden Gems almost became unhidden!” —JessicaH, endorsed by Carmella, Jem Ho, Joey, amhay
“Karina’s hair looks like a swiss roll – still on the chocolate theme thanks to Maks!” —daisy, endorsed by kfran
“Kendra totally rocking out on the sidelines during Hines’s cha cha solo.” —jen, endorsed by Colleen, gigi, Joanna Banana
“The look on Maks’ face after Donnie said “Osama Bin Dancing” was priceless.” —Kanerbaby
“HG (my first-ever nominee!) – The Berge’s face when the guest judge mentioned bin Laden… and his not-so-hidden awesome quick recovery!” —jerseystar314, endorsed by JessicaH, Jo, duranmom, orville
American Flag/Cotton Candy/Rainbow Sno Cone Hair Lady behind Bruno! —Kelly W., endorsed by Jen P., pancake, CleverShrew, KelbelDance, Sarah, Kelly, Xorp, Babs1384, LAGAW, Marimbist, DebraD, JessicaH, Kevin M. Kawa, Presto
“During the professionals’ solo, you could totally see into the celebriquarium and that two of them had their backs to the dance floor while chatting with Brooke! I guess they don’t have the same rule to stand outside and cheer like they do for each other.” —tara
“That pro female Latin dancer’s costume totally reminded me of the feather duster from Beauty and the Beast. What was up with that outfit?!” —Fridge
“Not only does that pro have bedazzled cornrows, but it kinda looks like she has a bedazzled diaper with fringe…” —korri, endorsed by Carmella, kt, amy, Jem Ho
“Chelsie, Shirley, and Romeo all dancing together reminded me of the scene in Dirty Dancing when Baby, Penny, and Johnny are all dancing together…Please tell me someone knows what I’m talking about.” —JessicaH, endorsed by Electronic Neko, Katja, Jen P.
“My hidden gem was the WTH outfit the guy behind Pia Toscano was wearing.” —AI, endorsed by Jem Ho
“Not one star/pro was able to muster even a fake-it-for-the-cameras smile after Chelsea and Mark’s dance.” —Jem Ho
“Walking back to the celebriquarium, I think Mark wanted to let the judges know they can now call him Mr. Meoff. First name: Jack. (We don’t need Jack Jason to interpret that sign!) Stay classy Mark.” —Jem Ho, endorsed by LAGAW
“When Louis told Kendra she was ‘leaps and bounds’ better and gestured upward, Bruno was making the same gesture in the picture behind him.” —JessicaH, endorsed by duranmom
“Purple-headed Louis freaked me out! The glow radiating from his head rivaled the glow radiating from Donnie’s teeth.” —Louis-Louis-Bo-Booey-Banana-Fana-Fo-Fooey, endorsed by Kevin M. Kawa, Jem Ho
“Kendra’s giant skirt matched the red carpeting EXACTLY. She disappeared into the floor!” —Jenna, endorsed by Barb H
“In the background during Kristie’s rehearsal package interviews, there’s a lamp made of three mirrorballs. Guess one just isn’t enough for her and Maks!” —MC
Kirstie’s animal print shoes match her bra straps!” —daisy, Jen P., Lucy, duranmom, Jem Ho, Joanna Banana
“Maks pinched Susan Lucci’s butt as he was heading back to get his scores.” —glenn
“Brooke turned it over to Tom and you could see Carrie Ann making very (in)appropriate gestures over her chesticles. Even better, it looked as if she and Donnie were comparing notes on the subject at hand (pun intended).” —kellen
“How did the 8-foot-tall guy get a seat in the front row? I’d be PISSED if I were seated behind him.” –JessicaH, Jenna, SunBlitz42
“Kym’s earring stuck in her hair during her post-dance interview.” —jen, endorsed by Dee, monkey_girl03
“When Hines & Kym were getting their scores in the celebriquarium, Loius looked exactly like a ventriloquist dummy behind them! He never moved!” —tiff
“The Deadly Smoke Machine’s new friend the Well Behaved Bonfire made its debut tonight.” —pancake, endorsed by CoolWhipLite
“I could swear I could see a tag through Romeo’s white tank top… did he have it on backwards?” —sabeline, endorsed by Rebecca
“Hidden Gem (First Timer!): The fire pit during Romeo’s dance looked like it was purchased real cheap from the Skating with the Stars set.” —Marshal
LIFE-AFFIRMING GEM (LAG) OF THE WEEK:
“I loved the shot coming back from break after Kirstie — looking up at the huge mirrorball, with Tom perched above in his rightful spot, ruling over all Planet Mirrorballus.” —Jem Ho
Thank you, DANCMSTRs one and all, for a fabulous heap of gems!
HOST’S LEADERBOARD: Are Tom’s various post-commercial-break kicks a nod to EW.com’s hidden gem hunters?! “It wasn’t originally so, but it is certainly in the back of my mind now.” YES! “Ya gotta kick!”
Press the little “play” triangle above to hear my imaginary friend Tom in all his alternate-universe glory!
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More on ‘Dancing With the Stars’: