Adam Markovitz
May 20, 2011 AT 06:30 PM EDT

Today, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sets sail on a whopping 4,155 screens. Which means pretty much every other movie will be relegated to either outstretched bedsheets in theater parking lots or Fisher Price Two Tunes TVs (Remember those? No, me neither.) But there is one other big name facing off against Captain Jack: Woody Allen. His latest, the romantic comedy Midnight in Paris, is playing at a fearsome… six sites. Presuming you can find one of them, which movie should you see?

First, let’s consult the critics. EW’s Owen Gleiberman basically tells Pirates to walk the plank: “Its one real act of piracy is stealing away your excitement,” he writes of the fourquel, which follows Jack (Johnny Depp) on a new adventure with a swashbuckling love interest (Penélope Cruz). Meanwhile, Lisa Schwarzbaum has a slightly better time watching a screenwriter (Owen Wilson) and his fiancée (Rachel McAdams) spend Midnight in Paris — she gives the movie a B and calls it “an ingratiating, tourist-oriented exercise in nostalgia for a city that doesn’t exist.”

So what’ll it be, Paris or pirates? Loot or the Louvre? Head to the poll below, and let us know your pick!

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