EW Staff
June 10, 2011 AT 04:00 AM EDT

”I adore the Kardashians. They’re a lot like Colonel Sanders. They also built an empire on breasts, legs, and thighs.”
—Joan Rivers on Fashion Police

”A British study showed that drunk drivers who are female are more likely to be older and divorced…or just Amy Winehouse.”
—Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately

”She made me go to a club, and we all know how I don’t dance.”
—Kate Gosselin, referring to her much-maligned Dancing With the Stars stint, on Today

”Arnold said he knew it was his as soon as he saw the little tyke groping the children of the other help.”
—Joel McHale, on Arnold Schwarzenegger not requesting a DNA test for his illegitimate son, on The Soup

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