Whole Foods Rap | EW.com

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Whole Foods Rap: This one goes out to all my quinoa-loving b#$@$*s

If a disproportionate amount of your salary goes to shopping at Whole Foods, and an uncool portion of your Sunday is spent looking for a parking spot there, and if somehow these two activities make you feel equal parts righteous and annoyed, then you’ve probably already uploaded this video to your Facebook page. The rap spoof, written and performed by 37-year-old David Wittman with the help of L.A. and S.F.-based creative collective Fog and Smog, is a delightfully sharp send-up of the Whole Foods experience. Some girl in yoga pants is lookin’ at me funny/I’m just trying to find a decent Pinot Noir for under twenty! Watch the video after the jump.

In an email interview, Wittman told EW that the song was meant to spoof his own lifestyle. That’s his Prius in the video, his typical shopping list (organic chicken, kale salad and a lemon twist), and his local Whole Foods where he regularly jockeys for a parking space. “On one particular day I was extra frustrated and just had to start laughing at myself arguing over a parking spot,” Wittman said of the video’s inspiration. “I mean, really… what if all Whole Foods were walking around with this gangster moniker, being all tough. C’mon. Tough guy needs to get his kale salad and quinoa? Please. You have to laugh at yourself, and that’s all this is!!” He reports that an amused Whole Foods has already reached out, requesting to feature the video on their website.

What do you think healthy PopWatchers? Are you a reusable bag-carrying, Bobble-toting Kombucha-drinking badass when a parking space is on the line? Or do you just hate those people? And does Wittman bear a startling resemblance to George Bush? (Nay, he insists. “Maybe somewhere between Channing Tatum and John Malkovich.”)

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