1. On Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kim gets X-ray of butt to prove it’s implant-free
Really looking forward to next week’s brain scan.
2. Lindsay Lohan shoots commercial under house arrest
How much you wanna bet that she still showed up late?
3. Katy Perry: ”I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11”
4. Tobey Maguire sued by swindled clients of felon who allegedly paid the movie star more than $300,000 in underground poker winnings
Figures. Everyone’s always jealous of his Spidey cents.
5. Lauren Conrad writes articles for Forbes
With just a few tweaks, that ”Why I’m Obsessed With Silver Charm Bracelets and Twill Dresses” column for Seventeen becomes a ”Why I’m Bullish on Precious Metals and Cotton Futures” think piece.
6. Thousands of fans at Earth, Wind & Fire concert in Chicago sent home due to storm
Said the members of 3 Inches of Blood to their manager backstage the next night: ”Can you check the forecast one more time before we head out there?”
7. Shia LaBeouf says he and Michael Bay got in fight on Transformers set when the actor tried to play Feist ballad to get in mood for pivotal scene
Please. Everyone knows Bay is Team Belle & Sebastian.
8. Prince knocks digital music: ”You’re getting sound in bits. When you play it back, you can’t feel anything. We’re analog people, not digital”
Says a glyph symbol.
9. Axl Rose has ”three albums of really amazing” songs ”up his sleeve,” says Guns N’ Roses guitarist DJ Ashba
The ones up his kilt? Don’t ask.