EW Staff
July 01, 2011 AT 12:00 PM EDT

”She’s from Thailand and she calls it Thai food. Surely in Thailand it’s just called food, isn’t it?”

—Ricky Gervais on The Marriage Ref

”Great. I’ll just tell my tumors to stop growing until you call me back with a spot.”

—Cathy (Laura Linney), on the phone for an appointment with an in-demand oncologist, on The Big C

”I’ve got some ideas for you. We need to change the look, the singing, the dancing, the hand-waving…”

—Piers Morgan, when asked by Triple Threat, who sing, dance, and act, what they could do to improve, on America’s Got Talent

”I have a fairy godmother?… Okay, if your job is to look after me, can I just say you suck?”

—Sookie (Anna Paquin), to Claudine (Lara Pulver), on True Blood

”President Obama was in New York today. There was one embarrassing moment when he saw the Naked Cowboy and was like, ‘Please tell me you’re not a Democratic congressman.”’

—Jimmy Fallon on Late Night

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