Kyle Anderson
July 25, 2011 AT 10:30 PM EDT

It’s been a little heavy around here the past few days. But luckily, there is a lamb-sprinkled rainbow cutting through the darkness, and her name is Mariah Carey.

Carey is not just a singing superstar. She is a retail wonder—one capable of putting clothes on your back, baubles on your ears, and “a cocktail of explosive fruity sensations” in the air around you.

With so many things to sell (jewelry, fragrances, purses, shoes and the like), it’s no wonder Mimi took up a two hour block on HSN this past Sunday night. In her first major appearance since the birth of her twins, Carey was in rare form, complaining about her pregnancy, directing traffic with special guest (and husband) Nick Cannon, ordering around the HSN models, and generally acting like Mariah Carey.

And while the entire broadcast was more or less wall-to-wall magic, the good people at Jezebel have condensed Carey’s appearance on HSN into a four-minute blast of free-association highlights. Follow the jump to bask in the awesomeness of Mimi unleashed:

What was your favorite moment from that best-of compilation? We can’t decide whether we’re more tickled by Carey’s fake accent (is it British? French? Some sort of Eastern European hybrid?) or the fact that she can’t seem to handle having a microphone attached to her.


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