Oh GOD. E! is already planning a two-night primetime gala, and they haven’t even promised that the telecast will include the actual wedding! Check out this save-the-date, which is quite proper and ladylike save for the big E, erect and ready for action:
On the bright side, it turns out we are all invited. The chances?!
Here’s a list just off the top of my head for what you can do to better spend four hours.