Dan Snierson
November 18, 2011 AT 05:00 AM EST

Survivor‘s Jeff Probst to host syndicated talk show
”I’ve just always wondered what it’d be like to interview someone who’d showered that day,” he explained.

Avatar‘s Zoë Saldana and fiancé ”amicably separate” after 11 years
Millions of sci-fi nerds separate themselves from 4chan to Google ”Zoë Saldana + favorite hangouts.”

Maury Povich invites Justin Bieber onto his show to take a paternity test
If Bieber declines, he has an offer to appear on any other Maury episode, including ”Help! My 14-year-old is trying to have a baby!” or ”Pregnant after Vegas… Is one of you my baby’s dad?” (Sadly, those are real.)

Twihards camp out in tents for days at Breaking Dawn premiere
No annoying drum circles at this ”occupy” movement! Just a bunch of teens arguing over whether Edward or Jacob is dreamier, singing songs about the moon, sharing fan fiction, and — DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP.

Law & Order‘s 104-disc $699 box set goes on sale
It’s a lot of cha-ching. But you get a lot of ”chung-chung.”

Vogue names Olsen twins world’s best-dressed siblings for 2011
All unread copies of the issue will be donated to a homeless shelter, where the girls will get a head start on next year’s line.

Justin Timberlake attends Marine Corps Ball with Cpl. Kelsey De Santis
She gushed: ”I never thought I’d get to hang out with an actual Saturday Night Live star!”

Johnny Depp ruffles feathers in Wichita by saying of The Rum Diary: ”Regardless of what it makes in, you know, Wichita, Kansas…it doesn’t make any difference”
He hopes to make it up to the city’s residents with his next film, The Pirates of Cheney Reservoir, Which Is Way Past the Airport — Just Keep Heading West and You’ll Find It Eventually.

Man arrested for calling 911 about broken iPhone
When he opened the door and saw a policeman standing there, he turned around and yelled, ”Siri! What’ve you done this time?”

You May Like