United Features Syndicate
Annie Barrett
December 23, 2011 AT 06:00 PM EST

For our final Lunchtime Poll before the holiday weekend, I thought we’d check in with Charlie Brown — the only person Linus knows who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. “Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Browniest.”

In A Charlie Brown Christmas, after Lucy tasked him with getting the biggest aluminum Christmas tree he could find for the kids’ play, Charlie Brown instead picked a funny-looking hidden gem that was just like him: barely viable in a sea of brightly colored commercialism, sprouting just a few tufts of foliage in random directions, and in desperate need of a little love.

Batman Year One: © DC Comics. All rights reserved. Used with permission. Year One art is by David Mazzucchelli

“Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?” wondered Linus. “It doesn’t seem to fit the modern spirit.”

I’m sitting three inches away from my parents’ glorious so-fake-it’s-real Christmas tree right now and must admit I find it very alluring. (DANCMSTR Dee and Barnacle Bill have always understood the importance of maintaining a modern spirit.) But I think I would buy a sad little Charlie Brown tree for my own sad little apartment. I’d call it a “statement piece” and decorate it with lightweight tinsel fringe, a single strand of sequined caramel corn, and a gem-encrusted Dancing With the Stars bangle to support the “trunk” like Linus adorably did with his blanket.

“Everything Annie touches turns into a disaster,” my regretful visitors would say, and I’d nod solemnly and then press play on Dragonette’s modern-day Charlie Brown anthem on my iTunes. They may be right, but those commercial dogs are not going to ruin my Christmas.

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“MERRY CHRISTMAS, POPWATCH READERS!”

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