Let’s pretend for a quick, brilliant moment that you’re Beyonce. You’ve just given birth to your first child, who’s already breaking Billboard records and has the acceptably eccentric celebribaby name of Blue Ivy — so you’ve got that going for you. But you’re also in the middle of a bad-PR mini-scandal involving the hospital’s handling of the security surrounding the delivery of said infant, threatening to tarnish even a smidge what should be a blessed, beautiful event.
And then someone names a horse fly after you.
Specifically, Scaptia (Plinthina) beyonceae, a rare fly native to Australia, that has been so christened because its hind quarters are filled with dense, gold hairs. That may make the insect sound visually appealing, but, well, it’s not:
Although that gleaming fanny is oddly mesmerizing, the bug itself is, empirically… icky. Bryan Lessard, the researcher with Australia’s Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization who thought up the name in the first place, reportedly says he did it in part because its golden butt makes it the “all time diva of flies.” When news of the taxonomical event hit, snarky headlines like Bootylicious! Horse fly with bling named after Beyonce and Beyonce has a butt so memorable they named a horse fly after it and Speaking of golden globes, horse fly with shiny butt gets named after Beyonce spread across the web. For a moment, these headlines even eclipsed news of Blue Ivy’s birth and the ensuing hospital security kerfluffle.
So here is my question for you, person-still-pretending-to-be-Beyoncé: As you cradle Blue Ivy in your arms while reading the Google Alert on your Blackberry that a golden-tushed horse fly has taken your name because just having a lustrous behind makes you an “all time diva,” are you flattered? Offended? Nonplussed? Or do you quietly chuckle to yourself, wondering over the strangeness of the world while you stare into your child’s eyes, a child who already has strains of medical marijuana named after her?