Annie Barrett
January 23, 2012 AT 11:59 PM EST

Lucky Louie: Randy Tepper

It’s the alternate Lost finale we could never have seen coming. Actress Megan Fox and Circe impersonator has set herself up on a deserted island and transformed herself into DOZENS of Megan Foxes in a commercial for Brazilian language school CCAA. “Welcome to Megan Fox Island!” she announces. Help yourself to a Skinny Girl Margarita from her magical urn, lost boys, but for God’s sake order it in English.

Stunningly, this Megan Fox English commercial is nearly a direct inverse of Carl’s Jr.’s recent Santa Fe Turkey Burger commercial, which features Gizem Memic, the reigning Miss Turkey from the Miss Universe pageant. It’s like a mad scientist chef took that commercial, flipped it inside out, and char-broiled that multicultural Popple until it spawned a bunch of Megan Foxes and two Mike Tysons. Pretty deep stuff.

Would you rather have a fundamental understanding of the English language or a turkey burger?

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