Adam Markovitz
February 17, 2012 AT 05:00 AM EST

7:30 a.m. EST
Rise and shine, it’s Oscar day!

8 a.m.
Check out Good Morning America‘s Oscar kickoff on ABC to get in the mood.

11 a.m.
Much of your day will be filled with red-carpet gawking, so add some real culture. Watch Le Voyage Dans la Lune, the Georges Méliès short featured in Best Picture nominee Hugo.

Whether you’re watching solo or throwing a party, you’re going to want an Oscar-themed feast — so get cooking. May we suggest ballpark franks for Moneyball? Or perhaps an ”Extremely Browned & Incredible Roast,” followed by black-and-white cookies in honor of The Artist?

1 p.m.
Listen to Best Song nominees ”Man or Muppet” from The Muppets and ”Real in Rio” from Rio.

1:30 p.m.
The TV coverage ramps up with E!’s Countdown to the Red Carpet, a rundown of all the nominees along with fashion scoop. It’s like a tailgating party for a sports game, except with better clothes.

3:30 p.m.
Speaking of sports, if someone tries to watch the Daytona 500 or the evening’s NBA All-Star Game, explain that a Lisbeth Salander-style beat-down awaits anyone who dares to change the channel.

5 p.m.
Academy Awards Red Carpet Countdown begins on the TV Guide Network. Since it’s 5 o’clock, it’s time to break out Oscar-themed cocktails. Dry Martini Scorsese, anyone?

5:30 p.m.
E!’s Live From the Red Carpet gets rolling with Ryan Seacrest & Co. dissecting every last thread of A-list wardrobe.

6 p.m.
The stars are putting the last touches on their outfits now, and so should you. Apply your temporary dragon tattoo and throw on a Descendants-style Hawaiian lei.

7 p.m.
As the preshow begins on ABC, get out your Oscar ballots and place your bets. And don’t miss our live blog on

8:30 p.m.
The show begins!

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