Ali Goldstein/NBC
Breia Brissey
March 01, 2012 AT 12:00 PM EST

Last night’s 30 Rock, “Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whiskey,” featured much less Alexis Goodlooking than the title would suggest. Jenna and Tracy teamed up to find out who drank Pete’s special birthday whiskey. She channeled her sleuthing talents by remembering Alexis Goodlooking, a character she once played who was also good looking. Naturally, Alexis’ special ability was being good at looking for clues. Get it? Of course you do.

J. Mo and Tracy quickly discovered that pretty much everyone in the office was guilty of drinking the booze, just so they wouldn’t have to hang out with Pete. Jenna strangely felt bad for Pete, so she threatened the writers: They had to hang out with Pete, or she’d tell him that they were using TGS money to buy personal items. (And maybe I’m just a terrible person, but I didn’t really want to listen to Pete sing Billy Joel or talk about Phil Donahue. I would have stolen the liquor, too, guys.)

Meanwhile, Susan Sarandon returned as Lynn Onkman, Frank’s lover/registered sex offender. People were just as disgusted about the odd pairing as they were when they first learned of the star-crossed relationship. Particularly opposed was Frank’s mom, Sylvia (Patti LuPone). So when she discovered a love letter in Frank’s porn collection, he was forced to lie about dating Liz. Lemon was initially against the charade until she learned that she’d directly benefit from Sylvia’s cooking. In Liz’s world, food always wins out. But in Frank’s world, mom always wins.

Sylvia learned the truth, and Frank ended things with Lynn. He lied about being okay about it, but Liz figured out that he was really hurting after she ate his meatballs cooked with tears. And while that’s not a metaphor for anything weird, Liz came up with the perfect metaphor for the strange couple: They’re like a meatball! Get it? Of course you don’t. It was a totally lame metaphor, but oddly, it worked at getting the couple back together.

Kenneth, no longer a NBC page, was looking for work elsewhere in the company. Jack struggled, but finally found him a position in Standards and Practices. (He couldn’t work in ad sales because NBC has far too many sponsors that make housework easier for women.) At his new post, Kenneth met Bradley, a sure-to-be best friend/enemy. Jack tried to get Kenneth to take down Bradley before he took down Kenneth in a “how to be a corporate killer” lesson. And as a bonus, we got to meet Jack’s first business nemesis, Henry Warren (Stanley Tucci!). But Jack changed tunes and decided he didn’t want Kenneth to be just like him and take down his competition. But his warning didn’t work, and Kenneth went after Bradley anyway. Is sweet naive Kenneth headed down an evil path? Only time will tell.

NEXT: The night’s best moments and lines…

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