Adam B. Vary
April 05, 2012 AT 12:00 PM EDT

It is a tradition that stretches back decades, a ritual of ruthless public mortification that children and children-at-heart have gleefully gobbled up from sea to shining sea. I’m speaking, of course, of the MAD Magazine parody, the venerable humor magazine’s take-no-prisoners tweak of massive pop-cultural events in which nothing is sacred. And in this exclusive first look, we can see what happened when MAD‘s Alfred E. Neuman set his sights on The Hunger Games — or, as MAD puts it, The Hunger Pains.

First thing I noticed from this parody, written by Desmond Devlin, and drawn by artist Tom Richmond: MAD‘s Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark — sorry, that’s Katfood Aspercreme and Meatwad Stretchmark — look like the Capitol fashioned a “muttation” of Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson crossed with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. The result, as one would expect, is horrifying. Check out the first four pages of the parody below — keeping in mind it comes from the April 24 issue of MAD, entitled “The 50 Worst Things About America.”

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My favorite thing about this is the description of Effie Trinket as “the effervescent doodlebug, Iffy Stinkpit.” Runner up: Gale Hawthorne’s MAD name is “Fail Hotporn.” Not quite sure how I feel about Rue being re-named “Poo,” though. Those scoundrels.

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NEXT PAGE: From eating rat in District 12 to riding the Twinkie-filled train to the Capitol

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