This Saturday night, while you’re watching John Cusack brood in The Raven or catching up on Game of Thrones – or doing something besides staring at a glowing rectangle – a certain flame-haired actress will be dining with America’s commander-in-chief. That’s right: Lindsay Lohan, newly minted Lifetime movie star, will attend 2012’s White House Correspondents’ dinner. Her rep tells the Washington Post that Lilo is going to be a guest of Fox News host Greta van Susteren, who must be a closet fan of I Know Who Killed Me. And to make matters even odder, Lohan’s defense attorney Shawn Holley will also be present at the soiree. I guess that’ll come in handy if another lady accuses her of battery afterward.
It’s bizarre that Lohan’s going to rub elbows with Barack, Michelle, and a roster of Beltway insiders and Hollywood A-listers at the event. But ever since famous residents of the Left Coast started attending the WHCD in greater numbers, the event’s guest list has included more than a few head scratchers. For example:
- In 2002, bat-biter Ozzy Osbourne attended and evidently stole the show from then-president George W. Bush. (Hey, remember when The Osbournes was a thing?) Bush tried to get the last laugh by telling Osbourne that Barbara Bush was a big fan of albums like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.
- 2006 welcomed Dancing With the Stars winner Drew Lachey and tennis siren Anna Kournikova, among others. But I’m guessing nobody had time to wonder why these C-listers were in the building; guests must have been too busy gaping at Stephen Colbert’s explosive speech.
- 2008: Heidi Montag got an invite, but had to cancel when human sweat stain Spencer Pratt demanded a ticket as well. What a loss for Washington!
- David Cross showed up in 2009 and allegedly snorted cocaine in front of President Obama. Which decision was worse: doing drugs while surrounded by Secret Service agents or appearing in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel?
- 2010 was a banner year for unlikely WHCD attendees. The Jonas Brothers, Chace Crawford’s sister Candice, Katie Lee Joel (Billy’s ex-wife), and Q-list syndicated talk show host Wendy Williams all came. Oh, and so did Kim Kardashian; like Lilo, she was a guest of van Susteren. (So, in fact, was Ozzy Osbourne. I’m shocked she didn’t try to bring Charlie Sheen in 2011.)
- This year, Lindsay may be upstaged by another headline-grabbing guest: Uggie, The Artist’s adorable, heroic Jack Russell Terrier. He’ll be a guest of The Washington Times, a paper that knows from dog puns.
How do you think Lilo compares to those who have come before her, PopWatchers? And what do you think she’ll do at the Correspondents’ Dinner – accidentally flash her Mean Girl? Pick a fight with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, a repeat attendee? Or surprise us all by acting normal and having a lovely time?
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