Everett Collection
Darren Franich
May 15, 2012 AT 08:50 PM EDT

Dear Young People: Casablanca is the story of a totally badass dude who runs a casino in a city that looks like the Disneyland version of Raiders of the Lost Ark, except with more booze and less inhibited sexuality. Said badass dude’s love interest is played by a crazy-hot Swedish chick — who is also a badass. The movie also stars Claude Rains, the walking personification of what Colin Firth wishes he saw in the mirror every morning, and Sydney Greenstreet, the greatest Evil Charming Fat Man in movie history. Every line of dialogue is quotable. Everyone smokes. Casablanca is Mad Men if Don Draper shot Nazis.

Don’t believe me? Well, don’t take my word for it. Uncle Zuckerberg and his IPO gang have decided to celebrate the movie’s 70th anniversary by screening Casablanca on Facebook tomorrow. (Update: The screening is actually sponsored by Warner Bros. Digital Distribution.) The screening is free on Casablanca‘s Facebook page — come on, check it out! — and will take place at 7 p.m. ET and 7 p.m. PT, if you want to live-comment during the movie, although I warn you that most of your comments will be some variation on: “Oh no you di-int, Cap’n Renault! [Shakes finger].” According to a press release, you just have to start watching Casablanca before 9 p.m. PT. You can only watch once per Facebook account. Entertainment Weekly would never support duplicity, but it would be possible to create a dummy account and watch screenings of Casablanca back-to-back. Just saying.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

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Casablanca DVD review

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