With the return of Dallas to television after more than 20 years, it’s easy to remember what we loved about the original show. The Ewings at Southfork were a dynamic TV family, full of deceit, passion, and greed. There wasn’t always a lot to like about J.R. or Cliff Barnes, but as a loyal viewer, there was plenty to love about their devious manipulations. In the new show, Patrick Duffy and Linda Gray still look amazing, Larry Hagman’s eyebrows steal the show, and the youngin’s are already living up to their infamous name.
With the launch of this next chapter in Texas-set Shakespearean drama, the Ewings have to be considered one of television’s all-time favorite families. But how do they compare in our collective consciousness to the Waltons or the Simpsons? When he was president, George H.W. Bush famously said that America needed to be “more like the Waltons and a lot less like the Simpsons,” but Poppy Bush would likely be more at home at Southfork than Walton’s Mountain or Springfield.
There’s only one way to determine this: a Battle of the Network Stars-like athletic competition that includes wet t-shirts and tug-of-wars. But since we can’t do that on short notice, let’s leave it to a vote, shall we?
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