Holiday TV marathons have become almost as great a tradition as Fourth of July fireworks. Wednesday’s best bet: TNT’s Dallas marathon. If you haven’t yet caught the reboot – as gloriously unruly as Larry Hagman’s eyebrows – you can watch the first four episodes (starting at 5 p.m. ET) leading into a new one at 9 p.m. ET. It’s already been picked up for a second season, so it’s safe to get invested.
Also at the top of our list: Two tributes to the late Andy Griffith. TV Land marathons The Andy Griffith Show from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. ET, while the Hallmark Movie Channel, not to be outdone, airs Matlock from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. ET the following morning.
The best of the rest:
HBO Zone: Jaws movie marathon, through Jaws IV: The Revenge, begins at 1:40 p.m. ET.
Encore Action: Superman movie marathon, through Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, starts at 2:50 a.m. ET, with the cycle repeating itself at the more humane hours of 11:15 a.m. and 7:35 p.m. ET.
SCIENCE: Firefly (8 a.m. to 3 a.m ET) – perfect time to prep for the cast’s Comic-Con reunion next week.
USA: NCIS (10 a.m. ET to 11 p.m. ET) – warning, this is how they convert new fans.
BBC America: Star Trek: The Next Generation (8 a.m. to 5 a.m. ET) – random?
Syfy: The Twilight Zone (8 a.m. to 5 a.m. ET) – old faithful.
Smithsonian Channel: Aerial America (6 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET) – the ultimate in armchair travel.
HBO: John Adams (10 a.m. to 7 p.m. ET) – the Emmy-winning miniseries starring Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney, in its entirety.
Spike: Band of Brothers (9 a.m. ET to 6 p.m ET) – not in its entirety.
Military Channel: The Revolutionary War (11 a.m. to 6 a.m. ET) – patriotic!
G4: Bomb Patrol: Afghanistan (9 a.m. to 2 a.m. ET) – ditto.
History: The Revolution (7 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET) – ditto.
A&E: Criminal Minds: (9 a.m. to 6 p.m. ET) – ditt… oh, wait.
Food Network: Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (10 a.m. to 7 p.m. ET) – more or less addictive than Cake Boss (6 a.m. to noon ET, TLC)?
HGTV: House Hunters on Vacation (6:30 a.m. to 9 a.m. ET), various incarnations of House Hunters and House Hunters International (10 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET) – a smart move.
IFC: Whisker Wars (7 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. ET, 2:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. ET) – an inspired move.
ABC Family: America’s Funniest Home Videos (11 a.m. to 11 p.m. ET) – a dumb move.
TNT: The Mentalist (10 a.m. to 5 p.m. ET) – a move that no doubt pisses off a Law & Order fan somewhere.
VH1: 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s (11 a.m. to 4 p.m. ET) – remember, iTunes purchases add up.
CLOO: House (6 a.m. to 6 a.m. ET) – gone but not forgotten, as long as there’s repeats.
Animal Planet: Call of the Wildman: More Live Action!/Call of the Wildman (1:30 p.m. to 6 a.m. ET) – in the woods of Kentucky.
CMT: My Big Redneck Vacation (10 a.m. to 10 p.m. ET) – in the woods, somewhere.
E!: Keeping Up With the Kardashians (3 p.m. ET to 10 p.m. ET) – in the woods, in your dreams.
ID: Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? (9 a.m. to 3 a.m. ET) – still the best show title ever.
P.S. For those of you who just want to know what channel is airing Independence Day, it’s AMC (8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET).