“Jimmy — what do you want to talk about first?”
That’s the line that 72-year-old comedy giant Fred Willard lead with on his visit to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Thursday night. And why not — if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!
Said the Best in Show actor, “It’s the last time I’m gonna listen to my wife when she says, ‘Why don’t you go out and see a movie?'”
“I see this one [theater],” he continued. “It had such an exotic look to it. I thought maybe there’s hula dancers in there. Maybe there’s Mai Tais!”
Willard went on to describe his time at the adult movie theater as “a trip down Alice in Wonderland and down the rabbit hole,” and joked that he was the “only awake and sober and conscious” person in the theater.
Fallon got in a few friendly jabs in himself, which lead to this amusing back-and-forth between the two:
Fallon: Well, the movie you went to see… was it The Firm?
Fallon: Was it Free Willy?
Fallon: Was it Anaconda?
Willard: No — sadly, it was Get Shorty.
Fallon: But I think at the end of that movie, someone gets whacked.
Hey-o! But with the jokes out of the way, Willard made sure to get serious and offer up an explanation for the public.
“It’s very embarrassing,” he admitted. “It’s embarrassing as hell! But let me say this: nothing happened. I did nothing wrong, everything’s being sorted out as we speak.”
“I have great respect for the authorities,” he continued. “I mean, when we need a policeman, God bless ’em, they’re there. But, if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious.”
“But it’s very embarrassing,” he reiterated. “Very painful. And I’m trying to laugh it off. But my summary of the evening is that it’s an interesting theater, boring movie, and a great place to take a nap.”
So there you have it, folks: Fred Willard just wanted to take a nap.