EW Staff
July 27, 2012 AT 04:00 AM EDT

”I’m as fun as the next guy, but a gentlemen’s club on a weeknight? What are we, Charlie Sheen?” —Stuart (David Alan Basche) to his roommates, Haskell (Wayne Knight) and Phil (Donald Faison), on The Exes

”Thirty-one dresses later, you’ve done something I didn’t think possible: You’ve made cleavage boring.” —Luke (Carter MacIntyre) to Stacy (April Bowlby), as she tries on dresses, on Drop Dead Diva

”Okay, break’s over. Time to get back up on that pole.” —Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) to stripper Tara (Rutina Wesley), after a tender moment, on True Blood

”Wow, a Lohan child who breaks the law at the moment of conception? Move over, Lindsay. You’ve been outdid.” —Joel McHale, on reports that Michael Lohan impregnated his girlfriend while a restraining order was in effect, on The Soup

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