Sandra Gonzalez
September 05, 2012 AT 05:57 AM EDT

The #DNC was all the rage Tuesday night on the Twitter — as my dad calls it. And if you followed the hashtag throughout the night, a few things became clear as the speeches went on:

1. No matter who wins in November, there will be Mitt Romney Santa Clauses on store shelves.

2. Kal Penn can get anything to trend.

3. Suri Cruise just met her match in the kiddies with ‘tude department.

4. The night was filled with some highly quotable moments.

5. And speeches are so much more interesting when experienced in a community of Tweeting maniacs (#oneofus). In fact, if you followed closely, you probably didn’t have to watch at all. (NOTE: THIS IS NOT AN ADVISED ACTION.)

So I present a recap of last night’s DNC, seen through 30 tweeting Americans — plus a few observations from CNN and Buzzfeed: 

Why are the speakers standing behind a Donkey Kong barrel? #DNC2012

Kemberlee Kaye (@red_red_head) September 04, 2012

I bet Romney face look like this watching the #DNC

JAXN (@Jaxn_CEO) September 05, 2012

Former Ohio Gov. @Ted_Strickland: "If Mitt Romney were Santa Claus, he'd fire the reindeer and outsource the elves." Watch #DNC on @CNNLive

CNN Live (@CNNLive) September 05, 2012

I think the producer forgot to tell @Ted_Strickland that there would be a microphone on the podium. #whyareyouyelling? #dnc

stephen parris (@stephenparris) September 05, 2012

Please let John Leguizamo explain why he made The Pest. #DNC

Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett) September 05, 2012

Monty Brinton

I'm hoping @BarackObama does his entire DNC speech in auto tune. If he does, I'm all in.

♔peoples champion♔ (@JoeSteelerFan) September 05, 2012

Rahm Emanuel comes onstage at DNC to "you wannabe startin somethin."

Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) September 05, 2012

Damn, the #DNC soundtrack is almost as good as Boogie Nights'.

Jared Moskowitz (@jaredmoskowitz) September 05, 2012

Best line of convention so far by Harold and Kumar guy (Kal Penn): "Thank you invisible man in the chair." @thenation @WeGotEd @edshow #DNC

John Nichols (@NicholsUprising) September 05, 2012

Kal Penn just asked Twitter to use hashtag #sexyface at the DNC. #sexyface is now trending.

  (@BuzzFeed) September 05, 2012

Everett Collection

I'm surprised no politicians have ever let a "hail Satan" slip out when speaking at the DNC or RNC.

Mark Dice (@MarkDice) September 05, 2012

Does anyone know which pay cable network will be carrying the unbleeped Rahm Emanuel speech? #DNC

James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) September 05, 2012

I like this Deval Patrick fellow! #DNC

Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) September 05, 2012

Did they just pan a camera on a woman falling asleep? #dnc

  (@urbanrhetoric) September 05, 2012

FOX News covering the DNC is like me trying to bench press 350 lbs: Kind of pointless

Mike Shemesh (@MikeShemesh) September 05, 2012

The most apt description of Mitt Romney: "He is more interested in having the job than doing the job." — Gov. Deval Patrick #DNC

  (@lafix) September 05, 2012

The DNC makes me wanna hold a fork in an electrical outlet..

Matt Ramey™ (@M_Ramey) September 05, 2012

O'Malley seems like a super happy guy with a super happy smile even when talking about super horrible Swiss bank accounts. #DNC

Some Dude (@squibble) September 05, 2012

That "forward, not back" stchick was a bit Soviet for my liking #dnc

Guy Adams (@guyadams) September 05, 2012

I would love it if Bill Hader walked out as James Carville and talked for the rest of the night. #DNC

Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 05, 2012

How cool. Julian Castro, 37-year-old mayor of San Antonio, introduced at DNC by his twin brother. Awesome.

Jonathan Gold (@TheCoolSub) September 05, 2012

I can't believe the #DNC just had the same guy speak twice in a row. #fail

Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) September 05, 2012

(Not exactly…)

BBC America

Can America file a cease and desist against the Black Eyed Peas? No one in this country wants them at political functions, #RNC or #DNC

Brett White (@brettwhite) September 05, 2012

Castro's daughter and her hair tossing FOR THE WIN. #DNC

Marcus (@_sinistersmile) September 05, 2012

One lady is waving a boot. WHY IS SHE WAVING A BOOT. #dnc

  (@GailSimone) September 05, 2012

You wouldn't think the DNC would allow guns inside, but there are Michelle Obama's arms anyway.

Molly R. (@Clamanity) September 05, 2012

work @michelleobama!!!! that red dress is fire!! #dnc

Jeanine Edwards (@momfinds) September 05, 2012

Ann Romney, I see you your tuna pasta and I raise you Barack's rusty car. #Michelle #DNC.

Frank Bruni (@FrankBruni) September 05, 2012

"Being President doesn't change who you are, it reveals who you are." ~@MichelleObama #DNC #RealTalk

Michael Skolnik (@MichaelSkolnik) September 05, 2012

Michelle Obama's speech is on point right now!! I'm gonna call my mother right after Michelle is done just to say thanks! #DNC

The Remix Atlanta GA (@ATLRemix) September 05, 2012

Michelle Obama bout to get some Extra Loving tonight from Barack.. #DNC #2012

Jez Chris (@JezzyChris) September 05, 2012

The #DNC is my #Coachella.

emilia serrano (@strollergirl) September 05, 2012

But apparently, Emilia, that’s not the case for all. (See No. 10 for ultimate horror):

ABC Family

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