Jimmy Kimmel's best Emmy jokes | EW.com

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Jimmy Kimmel's best Emmy jokes

Kimmel Host

(ABC)

Jimmy Kimmel took the stage at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles on Sunday night as host of the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards. His opening four-minute monologue including taking shots at Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney and Mad Men star Jon Hamm’s Emmy losing streak. Here are Kimmel’s strongest jokes – so far:

– “Downton Abbey is an amazing show … it really gives you a sense of what it must have been like to grow up in Mitt Romney’s house.”

– [After surveying how many in the Emmy audience were Republicans]: “Forty Republicans and the rest are godless liberal homosexuals. See that’s why Kelsey Grammer didn’t come tonight.”

– “Being a Republican in Hollywood is like being a Chick-fil-A sandwich on the snack table at Glee.”

– “Television is an American institution, yet one out of every five actors here tonight is British. I guess we’re supposed to award them because they went to Royal Shakespeare Academy and ours were discovered at the mall.”

– “Does it bother anybody else that President Obama said his favorite show is Homeland? I don’t think the president should be watching Homeland for the same reason Charlie Sheen shouldn’t be watching Breaking Bad.”

– [After referencing HBO’s cancelled horse-racing drama Luck, which was axed after several horses died on the set]: “If you’re going to the HBO [Emmy] after-party, don’t eat the sliders.”

– “Jon Hamm, you gave a tremendous performance this year, and I, for one, am shocked you didn’t win tonight … Too soon?”

– “None of the four major networks were nominated in the drama category. The Academy is sending a pretty clear message and that message is: Show us your boobs.”

– “Tonight you’ll be asked to perform your most challenging role yet, that of an actor who’s happy for the success of another actor.”

– “I think I hear some stomachs rumbling, would anybody like to trade an Emmy for a hot pocket?”

– “I saw [Jon Stewart] backstage and saw him throw his Emmy into the garbage – something to remember next year.”

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Originally posted September 23 2012 — 8:33 PM EDT

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