Well folks, it’s that time of year again — November the 5th, a day of gunpowder, treason and plot, and about a billion Facebook statuses telling you so. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie might have postponed Halloween, but by Sandy, we will have our Guy Fawkes Day (or, as it is more accurately known, Guy Fawkes Night). Here are five ways to celebrate this holiday of holidays:
5. Hack the Paypal server and steal 28,000 customer passwords: Oh wait.
4. Build a gingerbread replica of Parliament and set it aflame with fireworks: For the history buffs who actually know what happened on Guy Fawkes Day.
2. Crash Facebook: An oldie, but a goodie.
1. Memorize the V speech from V for Vendetta: It’s like memorizing the digits of Pi for Pi Day (I made it to 154 in 9th grade), only there’s actually an end. Also, this is the only option on this list that is not even vaguely illegal (number 4 depends on the laws governing the possession of fireworks in your state/country). Here, we’ll get you started: “Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
How are you celebrating Guy Fawkes Day?
*We don’t actually endorse numbers 2 through 5.