Last night’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was chock full of buxom beauties, bedazzled bras, and Beliebers. The sexiest night on television opened with a bang and kept its momentum alive throughout the show thanks to the musical stylings of Rihanna, Bruno Mars, and Justin Bieber.
Here are the top 10 moments of the night:
1. Circus Act
Ringmaster Adriana Lima opened the show in style. After the shock wore off that it was humanly possible to be that fit two months after giving birth, I became more aware of the show’s aesthetics. The circus motif, marked by the angels’ mime and clown costumes and professional aerial contortionists, coupled with the bizarre song mix made the first runway walk truly memorable. As The Doors’ “Break on Through (To the Other Side)” blended into Missy Elliott’s “Get Ur Freak On,” I had a clear vision of what the rest of the night would hold: rock & roll and sex.
2. Diamonds and Lace
Even with a bevy of semi-naked ladies strutting beside her, Rihanna managed to steal the show with her first performance of the night. Wearing a black, strapless, corseted dress, the songstress was dressed more demurely than usual, but sill looked smokin’ hot thanks to her gown’s high slit and garters.
3. The Show Must Go On
In the most dramatic moment of the night, an angel lost her… hat. The behind-the-scenes cameras followed model Erin Heatherton backstage as a team of stylists struggled to pin her top hat to her head. Dressed as “baby New Year” to open the calendar girls segment of the show, a reluctant Heatherton was forced to take the plunge with an incomplete look. How could the audience possibly have known that she represented January without that pink hat?
4. Retro Fit
Bruno Mars may have been singing “Locked Out of Heaven,” but he was surrounded by angels on stage. Accompanied by a live band, Mars fit the part of an old-school musician in the 1950s-themed calendar girls segment. He probably landed on Santa’s naughty list by flirting with the scantily clad Mrs. Claus, but we love him just the way he is.
5. Bieber Fever
Before the barely-legal Biebs hit the stage, he salivated over the girls coming off the runway backstage while the VS angels sang his praises to the camera. If that wasn’t disturbing enough, the models also swooned in the background during his performances.
6. Making a Belieber Out of You
The pop sensation’s acoustic rendition of “As Long As You Love Me” was the only performance of the night not accompanied by a runway show. I was surprised by the age appropriateness of the act until the Pink Ball commenced and the teen broke into “Beauty and a Beat.” Nicki Minaj wasn’t there to show off her assets so Bieber resorted to exchanging smoldering glances with the models instead.
7. Pop Culture Pizzazz
Aside from Bieber’s futuristic ”3012” space look, a few other odd outfits caught my eye during the Pink Ball. There was Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, who was business in the front, party in the back, a sexy Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story, and an angel in a bicycle handlebar-ed vest, prompting the question “can you ride your bike with no handlebars?”
8. Silver Screen Sirens
Mars returned to the stage for a performance of “Young Wild Girls” in my favorite segment of the night. The wings, along with feather plumes, headdresses, and sequins, finally came out as the girls strutted their stuff in the show’s most extravagant costumes. Whether evoking old Hollywood glamour or Renaissance decadence, the girls dazzled in diamonds and slow-motion sequences. Yes, the Angels are young and wild, but Rihanna’s “Diamonds” would have been a more appropriate song choice.
9. Model Behavior
The show featured a short segment spotlighting South African model and Italian Vogue cover girl Candice Swanepoel. Aside from allowing her to be both seen and heard (it’s safe to say that she didn’t attend the Milford School), the video was further proof that Victoria’s Secret should change its name to Model United Nations.
10. Angles in Bloom
After changing into a see-through lingerie-style getup, Rihanna closed the show with her new single “Fresh Off the Runway.” She faded more into the background this time around due to the trapeze acts and life-sized flowers barging down the runway. Of course, Alessandra Ambrosio looked flawless in her $2.5 million floral fantasy bra (now that’s a push-up!). I initially thought the bra was too over-the-top, even by VS standards, but it fit the floral theme and looked relatively ordinary compared to her stunning, over-sized orchid wings. Although a lesser known flower (and model), Lily Aldridge won the prize for the most adorable costume of the segment with a tiger lily skit with lily pad wings. Claude Monet must have been stirring in his grave.