Here’s a list of 2012’s most memorable ongoing conflicts from the real world.
5. Madonna vs. Everyone
Last year, she cast her icy gaze on poor, innocent hydrangeas. Showing no signs of stopping her reign of furor in 2012, Her Madgesty kicked off February by throwing Super Bowl collaborator MIA under the bus for her half-time show flip-off. Later in the year, she tweaked Lady Gaga for imitating her and didn’t make any fans by advocating for the reelection of President Barack Obama. But her hissy-off with fellow diva Elton John was the gift that kept giving. To be fair, Elton John threw the first punch, dismissing her talent when her song “Masterpiece” triumphed at January’s Golden Globes over his Gnomeo & Juliet tinkler “Hello Hello” and later likening Madonna to “a f—ing fairground stripper.” But Ms. Ciccone has been more than happy to keep the feud going, most recently dedicating a song (you guessed it, “Masterpiece”!) to him at an August concert. Something tells us this one isn’t over….
4. AMC vs. Dish and DirecTV vs. Viacom
Dish subscribers had to live without AMC from June 30 to Oct. 21, all due to an arcane lawsuit that revolved around an obsolete service called Voom. DirecTV customers found themselves in a similar situation on July 10, when a contract dispute kept the cabler and Viacom networks – including MTV, Nickelodeon, and Vh1 – separate until July 20. Cable providers and cable networks: Can’t we all just get along?
3. Drake vs. Chris Brown
The two swaggering music men were already at odds over their mutual, um, admiration for Rihanna. Add alcohol and an unpredictable club crowd to the mix, and you get a pyrotechnic display of egos that ranged far and wide, costing New York bar W.i.P. its liquor license, inspiring not one but two lawsuits, and even roping basketball star (and ex-Mr. Eva Longoria) Tony Parker into the fracas. None of which was helped by Brown’s penchant for Twitter raging and trash talk. Now that Drake is a high school graduate, one can only hope he’s put these schoolboy shenanigans behind him.
2. Mitt Romney vs. 47% of America (especially you, debate moderators!)
It’s hard to say whom Mitt Romney was really battling for the presidency this past year – President Obama or the debate moderators. From the testy tone he regularly took with esteemed newsers Candy Crowley and Bob Schieffer, it was unclear whom he’d been coached to combat. The sole escapee from Romney’s wrath was first debate moderator Jim Lehrer (though it’s uncertain at time of press whether Lehrer even realized he was at the debate at all). Suffice it to say, if anyone won the 2012 election, it was not the Beltway’s politicos but rather a big yellow bird, OfficeMax, and outmoded military technology.
1. Dan Harmon vs. Chevy Chase
Chevy Chase has a reputation for being difficult on set – so it was no surprise to hear that he and Community’s creative team were butting heads this spring. But it was shocking when Community showrunner Dan Harmon publicly played a expletive-laden voicemail left by Chase – revealing a feud that made it tough to root for either side. The incident was one of several factors that led to Harmon getting fired, though Chase will still star in the sitcom’s fourth season (which finally – finally! – premieres Feb. 7).
(Written by Lanford Beard and Hillary Busis)