1. Major Romney supporter Kid Rock meets President Obama, says ”No hard feelings”
”Back at you,” said a smiling Obama, before whispering in his ear as they embraced, ”Tell Nugent to take a long walk off a short fiscal cliff.”
2. Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes developing 1880s New York-set drama at NBC
Downtown Abbie will chronicle the saga of an heiress on 5th and 9th battling consumption, a too-loose corset, and a splendid crush on her third cousin twice removed.
3. Gérard Depardieu detained in Paris for allegedly driving scooter while intoxicated
A special-ops team was called to the scene when Depardieu suddenly started complaining of a full bladder.
4. Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane to guest on rival series The Simpsons
Holy crap! D’oh! I meant, Woo-hoo!
5. Osama bin Laden takedown film Zero Dark Thirty has first screenings
It’s the big screen’s most harrowing true-life story of an overseas military operation since Pauly Shore and Andy Dick escaped from a Libyan POW camp in Chad and destroyed their Scud missiles in In the Army Now.
6. Lindsay Lohan arrested after allegedly punching psychic in club
”I don’t think this is going to end well for you,” said the psychic in between blows.
7. Luke Perry and Jennie Garth spotted out in L.A., refueling rumors of a romance
Reading the news thousands of miles away in a Paris bistro, Shannen Doherty spit out a mouthful of calf brains.
8. Ex-National Lampoon CEO gets 50 years in jail for fraud and conspiracy
But also kind of for National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure.
9. AMC greenlights reality competition Owner’s Manual
I’d tell you more about it, but I only read the press release’s headline. Thought I’d just figure it out along the way.