Ben Gabbe/Getty Images
Hillary Busis
March 06, 2013 AT 11:01 PM EST

The first thing you need to know: Tonight, Bravo premieres Dukes of Melrose, a new reality series that follows vintage boutique owners Christos Garkinos and Cameron Silver. The second thing you need to know: Cameron Silver is the guy in the photo above.

I’m gonna level with you, Cameron — until a few moments ago, I had never heard of you. But when I saw this photo from your show’s recent New York premiere, I knew that we were meant to be acquainted.

On one hand, I kind of love the Dracula meets Bond villain meets semi-fancy waiter look you’re rocking in this photo. (His statement piece is seriously called a “Spider Man jacket,” and it’s a vintage item from Paco Rabanne Haute Couture.) It’s eye-catching, dramatic, and utterly ridiculous — which is precisely what I want when I’m watching Bravo. And clearly, this is something that a duke should be wearing, provided he’s the Duke of Crazy Manor.

But on the other hand… yikes, dude. Your whole job is selling clothes to people. How do you expect to do that when you’re walking around looking like the Phantom of the Opera crossed with a Ninja Turtle? Do you really expect people to trust your fashion sense? Are you seriously wearing a ceramic bow tie?! (Yes; yes, you are.)

I may never watch your show, Cameron, and I may also forget your name as soon as I’m finished writing this post. But even so, I hope you’ll listen to this bit of advice: Ditch the jacket. And smile, for the love of Andy Cohen — you’re about to be on TV!

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