Dan Snierson
March 22, 2013 AT 04:00 AM EDT

? Nicki Minaj arrives 13 minutes late for live American Idol episode, blames it on L.A. traffic Keith was like, ”Hey, I’m staying out of this.” Randy was like, ”For me, for you, it just didn’t feel right.” And Mariah rolled her eyes and was like, ”You’re an hour and 47 minutes early.”

? Vanderbilt student invited on stage to accompany Billy Joel on ”New York State of Mind” at Q&A event fails calculus test the next day Turns out the answer to ”What is the first derivative of 4x[superscript 2] + 3y[superscript 3]?” is not ”8x + I JUST PLAYED ON STAGE WITH BILLY JOEL, BITCHES!-[superscript 500]”

? After separating in late 2012, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman reportedly reconcile Sometimes a little Hollywood love story just makes everything okay again, you know?

? Billie Joe Armstrong to write music for Yale Repertory Theatre’s update of Much Ado About Nothing Some say he’s taking his Shakespeare gig a little too seriously, even rerecording Dookie under the title The Taming of the Poo.

? Teen Mom 2 star Kailyn Lowry tweets that she has to delay wedding over money issues You think weddings are expensive? Wait till you have a kid one day!

? Protesting removal of remaining piece of the Berlin Wall to make way for apartments, David Hasselhoff sings ”Looking for Freedom” to German crowd, promises ”huge concert” if plans continue Everybody, quick! Rebuild the wall! In its entirety! Just to be safe!

? Iron Maiden to sell brand of beer called Trooper Guessing ”Brews Dickinson” was already taken.

? Ne-Yo being sued for defamation by former girlfriend for talking about their relationship Totally feel your pain, Ne-Yo. My exes would always… Actually, lemme lawyer up and we’ll finish this conversation later.

? Exec producer Mike Fleiss says there will be no Bachelor Pad this summer Great. Now even the hot tub has self-esteem issues.

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