Darren Franich
April 17, 2013 AT 02:49 PM EDT

Did you see 300, the ultraviolent man-candy war movie starring pre-romcom Gerard Butler and pre-Fassmember Fassbender? If so, then you were probably surprised to hear that there would be another 300 movie. You’re probably asking: “But didn’t everybody die?” To which Hollywood responds, lovingly, “Shut up, stupid.” Hence, 300: Rise of an Empire, a sidequel about a naval battle that took place while Leonidas and his men were fighting the Persians and cellulite. Here’s the poster for the film:

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Read more:

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