EW Staff
May 17, 2013 AT 12:00 PM EDT

”The best thing about not having Joe Simpson anymore as a father-in-law is that I don’t have to play grab-ass under the table on Easter Sunday.” — Nick Lachey, after host Andy Cohen asked about his former father-in-law, on Watch What Happens: Live

”You’re not the fixer here, Liv. You’re the problem.” — Harrison (Columbus Short), to Olivia (Kerry Washington), on Scandal

”I get crazy, I get cancer, and now I got a psychopathic maniac! Screw it, I give up, I’m walking away.” — Alex (Justin Chambers), lamenting his streak of troubled relationships, on Grey’s Anatomy

”What are you doing here? You should know better. You have glasses!” — Mindy (Mindy Kaling), to a girl dancing on a stripper pole at a frat party, on The Mindy Project

”I am going to miss our playful, get-a-room- already banter.” — Dean Pelton (Jim Rash), to Jeff (Joel McHale), on Community

”You have to speak it/Don’t leak it.” — Child therapist Wade (Craig Robinson), singing to a roomful of kids, in Peeples

”Before you begin, you must all be warned: Nothing here is vegetarian.” — Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelsen), while serving a meal to his guests, on Hannibal

”I didn’t want you to think I was just some nobody.” — Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio), to Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire), in The Great Gatsby

”You want to see spooky? Call me spooky again. I’ll spook the ass fat right out of your lips!” — Elizabeth (Merritt Wever), defending herself against one of Schmidt’s (Max Greenfield) attractive co-workers, on New Girl

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