Yesterday, X-Men and Star Trek star Patrick Stewart tweeted that he was eating his “first ever pizza ‘slice,’” complete with a photo. Because it was Patrick Stewart or because it was pizza, people went all-caps crazy: “WHAT? How can this be your first ever sir?” one follower wrote back, a variation on the same.
Wrong again, world.
“People misunderstood,” the actor tells New York. “There was a school of thought that I had eaten my first pizza, but of course how could that possibly be true? I would have had to have stayed locked up in a cellar. But nevertheless, this was my first slice of pizza, which I was only eating because my fiancée and I were a little hung-over yesterday morning and she said what we need is pizza and a soothing drink — and she was right.”
As Stewart explains, “I know, it’s hard to understand, isn’t it? But, you know, I would go in [a pizza place] and order a pizza and eat a whole pizza. It was the concept of the slice that I had never encountered before.”
The interview is actually much longer, a thorough examination of the actor’s pizza-eating history. Some of the tastiest pieces:
My brother and I, when we were small, we would listen to a BBC Radio program every morning called Children’s Choice. And they played records suitable for kids to listen to. My brother and I listened to this seriously — we learned all the lyrics to all the songs, and we sang along. And one of them was a Dean Martin hit called “Amore.” And the song began, “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie.” Well, my brother and I had never seen a pizza, didn’t know what a pizza was; we had never heard the word before, so it made no sense to us.
You know, we thought it was a cute picture. I like doing these things that are kind of unexpected, as far as I’m concerned, and things that have a little bit of a surprise element to them. But we never anticipated what has happened. I just did an interview with BBC, the main evening news program. And it’s been years since I’ve talked to them.
I’ve never eaten hundred-year-old eggs, but I’ve always been curious about them. You know, they’re an Eastern delicacy.
Is it the season of silly explanations? At least Stewart loves pizza instead of hating America.