I took up watching Million Dollar Listing: New York while on vacation and can now never give it up, as the show so perfectly achieves my reality TV trifecta: It warms my heart, is aggressively absurd, and makes me die inside. A rundown of last night’s installment:
Frederik Eklund: In light of the Supreme Court’s decision that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional, I teared up a bit at his and then-fiance Derek’s conversation about a prenup. It was clear that the producers made Frederik bring it up to stir up drama, so that felt cheap, but I liked hearing each of their well-reasoned sides. Basically I just like hearing and watching the Zimbabwe-born Derek talk. He’s always so dreamy and painterly and about to burst out of those Lacoste polos. Derek’s not the business-minded monster his partner is, and to him it was a question of love vs. money.
“We are finally, as two men, able at least in this state to do that, to make that contract,” Frederik urged. But Derek and love won. No prenup.
After hearing about DOMA and Prop 8 yesterday, Frederik told Bravo’s Dish blog he “high kicked so hard, I fell on my back!”
Luis Ortiz: I melted big time after seeing him reunite with his Puerto Rican parents and twin brother who looks like Joe Jonas. The whole scene really humanized the little weasel — he left home at 16 to “make something of himself” and clearly values his family (and his mother’s cooking, which he’s taken up) over anything else, especially now that they’re on-screen. Luis and his mom dancing was to die for:
Ryan Serhant: Ha, nothing heartwarming really, but I got a huge kick out of the Venezuelan buyer who got all Michael Kors on him, Skype-style, by demanding he remove the red handkerchief he had on…
Frederik: Admitted to drinking 10 green teas a day, which is difficult to wrap my head around but at least answers the burning question “What the hell is this guy on?” His poop is green. Bravo thought you should know.
Later on, Frederik whine/raves about all the work he had to suffer through to eventually earn over $100k in commission. “Picking the tiles, wearing the construction clothes, biking around SoHo, eating the lobster…” — all luxurious activities that you know he actually relished. So funny.
Luis: I love how he gushed to his father, “You smell amazing!” as if this was, like, the highest compliment possible. Maybe he should commission a candle of his dad’s scent to use during future property showings. Also, that seller of his was an absolute sourpuss princess nightmare. Ugh, the rich! Why am I watching this?
Ryan: It’s hard to argue that this guy doesn’t deserve to have his designer suit doused with flour on the reg. But that seller’s agent, his former frat hazing victim Mark, was painfully stuck in college. Oh, and did Ryan really just give away that pig to his driver?
Also of note: The cast’s mid-show bitchery on Twitter is incredible.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, these guys are awful. But at least they’re honest! These are the types of terrible people who make all the money. Agggggggghhhhh. Maybe next week I will do a more thorough recap of JUST my gradual mental breakdown as I truly ponder their wealth throughout the episode. What fun for everyone that will be!
MADE ME DIE INSIDE
His first deal on the show. I am both happy and horrified!
Yep. Farewell from the grave. I give up. I’m out. ‘Til next week, at least. Definitely.
Do you love/hate/mostly love MDLNY as well? Discuss.