Annie Barrett
August 21, 2013 AT 10:00 AM EDT

Comedy Central’s Drunk History is so hilarious if you’re in the right mood, and probably even if you aren’t. So, what’d we learn from “Nashville”? (NSFW language and somewhat blurry hand gestures ahead.)

KEY ‘DRUNK HISTORY’ LESSONS for the week of AUGUST 20, 2013

–When Dolly Parton (Casey Wilson) went to New York to tell the RCA executives she was leaving The Porter Wagoner Show, her exact words were “I’m gonna be in f*cking movies. “Are you in or are you out? Back me or back the f*ck off.” And they were like yeah, sure. Whatever. Sounds fantastic.

–In order to discuss the Scopes Monkey Trial, you best get super drunk first (B.J. Porter).

20th Century Fox/Courtesy Everett Collection

–William Jennings Bryan (Bradley Whitford) feared Facebook responses re: how drunk he was getting on the witness stand as Clarence Darrow (Jack McBrayer) questioned him about the literal meaning of the Bible.

–Norm from Cheers was at the trial!

(Note: Not actually George Wendt)

–Social media enthusiast William Jennings Bryan eventually died… of a broken heart.

#diabetes

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BEST SEGMENT EVER: LEWIS AND CLARK

–In 1804, Meriwether Lewis (Tony Hale), who was such a bummer, invited William Clark (Taran Killam) to journey with him by saying, “There is no one I’d rather explore this f*cked-up territory with than you.”

Diyah Pera

–When they encountered her tribe, Sacagawea (Aubrey Plaza) was all, “I’m the only one that speaks any language, and I’m pregnant as f*ck. I’m gonna have this baby; I’m gonna help you.”

–The chief of all of the Native American Indian tribes Lewis and Clark encountered was Kumail Nanjiani.

–When they found the shore of Oregon, Lewis was like “Who GIVES a s*it?”

–And as soon as they returned, James Madison was all, “Can you real quick go f*ck yourself?”

–In general, Meriwether Lewis was, like, “if Morrissey had a blog, and a canoe.”

Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark (of the Cooking Channel’s “Tripping Out with Alie & Georgia”) were my favorite sloppy-drunk narrators yet. Perfect. [Burp.]

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“Nashville” and the rest of the Drunk History episodes are available on iTunes or on Comedy Central (repeats air Sundays; new episodes air Tuesdays at 10).

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