New Girl returned last night, and with the season 3 premiere came an all-new Winston (Lamorne Morris): colorblind and puzzles-obsessed.
Sigh. It looks like Winston’s still getting a quirky trait each episode instead of a proper, character-building arc, but we’ve aired our grievances about that before. At this point, the regularly sidelined loftmate has accumulated too many strange characteristics to keep count, so why not try tallying them all up?
May we present to you, PopWatchers, the “Winston Watch,” an ultimate (though probably not definitive) showcase of every version we’ve seen of our favorite fruity-drink-loving, darkness-fearing, pranks- and puzzles-obsessed supporting character:
1. Musical Winston (“Fancyman [Part 2]”)
A secret Wicked fan, Winston belts his favorite tunes from the musical, not knowing he has Schmidt and Cece in tow.
2. Fashion-Forward Winston (“Backslide”)
Winston gets an ear pierced during a night out with his boss and immediately becomes the butt of every joke for his loftmates. (“Hey, Mr. T called, he wants to punch you because that earring looks stupid,” Nick quips.)
3. Nocturnal Winston (“Secrets”)
In season 1, Winston worked overnight and slept during the day, turning into an annoyed, sleep-deprived character for an episode.
4. Achluophobic Winston (“See Ya”)
Stranded in the desert in the first-season finale, Winston reveals he’s afraid of the dark and spends the episode paralyzed from fear. “The werewolves come out at night, man,” he says. “I don’t want nobody to eat me! I got thick thighs! I got a fat ass!”
5. Naughty Winston (“Re-Launch”)
Winston’s favorite drinks are the fruity concoctions Nick makes. (“It’s like an explosion of fruit!” he squeals.)
6. Birthday Winston (“Winston’s Birthday”)
Poor Winston Bishop. Even when he’s in the title of the episode, he spends his scenes hoping his friends remember his birthday.
7. Female Winston (“Menzies”)
Winston fears he’s suffering from PMS. “I got that menstruation inside of me,” he laments.
8. Prank Sinatra Winston (“Neighbors”)
When it comes to pranks, Winston can never get it right.
9. Stress-Stripping Winston (“Bathtub”)
Winston takes off his clothes during panic attacks, a habit he calls “The Willies.”
10. Not-So-Smooth-Talking Winston (“Cooler”)
Winston can’t talk to women. (Also known as “Girl, what yo name is?” Winston.)
11. Hungry Winston (“Parents”)
Winston spends the episode asking for food.
12. Colorblind Winston (“All In”)
The latest version of Winston is a fan of puzzles, but he takes forever to solve them because he’s colorblind. (“It’s puzzling time!”)
Don’t get us wrong: We love Winston, thanks to Morris always being up for anything. We just wish he got some more to do besides being a human punchline. What do you think? What’s your favorite Winston moment? Tell us in the comments below.