For the Fab Five, things just keep getting better. The chemistry, the sitcom-ready-banter, the outfits, the memories, it was like nothing had changed when the cast of Queer Eye sat down with Andy Cohen for their ten year reunion on Sunday night. It was also seven years since Jai, Kyan, Thom, Carson, and Ted had all sat in the same room. No matter, the reunion was akin to receiving a warm hello from your oldest, chic-est, and most potty-mouthed friends and realizing just how much you’ve missed them.
“We’re just thrilled that Ted’s still alive,” joked design doctor Thom Filicia, about their elder statesman Ted Allen. Just like the tone of their Emmy-winning show, quick wits and double entendres ran rampant as Cohen and the guys chatted about the silly, the serious, and the scandalous.
Despite the out and about nature of the original title, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, we learned that Carson and Ted weren’t officially out to their families just as the show was premiering. In having to share the news with their loved ones, it was the actual vocalization of the show’s title that sparked some much needed conversations. “It took something like a makeover show for me to actually be honest with who I was,” Carson Kressley told Cohen. “It forced me to tell them,” said Allen, who remembered how his family initially hated the idea of the show. The fab five also deflected any criticisms that the show exemplified negative gay stereotypes, “We are vastly different,” said culture vulture Jai Rodriguez.
The serious stuff didn’t last long as Cohen and co. reminisced on their most memorable episodes. First up were the junkiest, most dilapidated straight man apartments. The winner? Kevin, the comedian, who lived in Williamsburg. “C’mon kids, everyone gather around for botulism,” said Filicia about an especially dirty dishes situation. (Side note, how good was their banter?! Their brains were a TV screenwriter’s pipe dream.) Some apartments were full of pockets of filth like piles of toenail clippings in a corner, “toe nail potpourri!” quipped Kressley. We’re reminded of the hairiest episodes, of guys with serious back-ne, unibrows, and ear hair, oh my! And of straight guys with the kinkiest possessions — mountains of dirty mags, massage oil, and anal lubricant. The guys also give a nod to how the show inadvertently ushered in the metrosexual liberation movement, by giving men permission to care about how they look, “If you look good, you’ll probably get laid, so why not put some effort?” said Kressley. With all the talk of unmentionable body parts and off-color humor so far on the reunion (also see: every Real Housewives screaming match ever), you’d think Cohen would be immune to ear-raising lingo. But the host blushed when the guys started throwing the phrase “taint shaving” around.
Perhaps the best part of the reunion were the scandalous bits. Who hooked up with whom? Apparently Rodriguez and Filicia once made out in a van. “I knew we did something,” said Filicia, pretending not to remember. And Rodriguez was maybe even involved with a straight makeover recipient — “a dude that made it clear that he was a little bit more flexible,” he said.
Our tete-a-tete with the guys ended with their most touching episodes. For Kyan Douglas, it was the one with Richard Miller, who had to learn to ditch his toupee after wearing it for 13 years and hiding his baldness from his kids. As to another Queer Eye reboot? The answer was no, but Rodriguez, who was only 23 when it began, would want another shot at dishing cultural advice now that he’s older. Like any good thing, this reunion was too short, but it sure was wonderful seeing the guys and their ageless chemistry grace our screens again. Cheers, Queers!
Best Running Joke:
– The constant ribbing on Ted’s age (he’s 48). On if they do a 20-year reunion, “Ted will be dead!” said Filicia. “I’ll bring a Ouiji board for Ted,” said Kressley.
Best Sexual Innuendos:
– “I love a creamy filling on the inside,” said Kressley about a cake being frosted.
– “I’m a Do It My Selfer,” said Filicia, about the DIY movement.
– “Whoa, it’s still ticking!,” said Kressley while placing a stethoscope on a man’s crotch.
A Queer Eye-isms Refresher:
– “Zhoosh”: To crisply fold one’s oxford sleeves
– “USG”: Ultimate Straight Guy
– “Spray, Delay, Walk Away”: Proper perfume-applying steps
What did you think of the Fab Five reunion, PopWatchers? What were your favorite moments?