For me, the beginning of fall kicks off a number of events, from apple picking and pumpkin carving to boot-wearing, and of course, ABC Family’s “13 Nights of Halloween.” However, there’s only ever one Halloween movie I have to watch every year: Hocus Pocus (with a possible serving of Halloweentown on the side). The story of the Sanderson sisters, complete with Sarah Jessica Parker’s singing and Bette Middler’s everything, is too much fun to pass up. So when I sat down to watch Hocus Pocus a few nights ago, I realized something. Why hasn’t there been a sequel?
For one, there aren’t enough fun Halloween movies, which might be one reason why the ABC Family marathon is only 13 nights as opposed to its “25 Days of Christmas.” And Hocus Pocus’ ending is practically begging for a sequel. After the Sanderson sisters explode into the night and Thackery Binx returns to his human form and joins his sister in heaven, the camera cuts to the sisters’ book, a.k.a the living grimoire made out of human skin and featuring a human eye. Just before the credits roll, the grimoire opens it eye. So sure, the sisters might be gone, but their magic is still alive inside that creepy book!
So here’s what I want to see happen in a sequel: A group of teenagers stupidly read a resurrection spell from the book as a joke on one Halloween night. A virgin then lights the black flame candle and boom! The Sanderson sisters are back. Sure, this sequel could work with new witches, but where’s the fun in that? I want Kathy Najimy to bark at a child and fly on a vacuum, and I want SJP to twirl around in a push-up bra and smile like a complete idiot.
But this time, the sisters’ hunt for children takes them to an amusement park, where they’re chased with chainsaws, scared by teenagers, and forced to ride the world’s most terrifying roller coaster. After they finish vomiting, they discover the “kiddie park,” where they suck the lives out of three bullies who are picking on a young boy. And once they’re young again, they spend the rest of the night eating, dancing, riding rides, flirting with boys, and having fun, which obviously includes another musical number:
Watching all this unfold, the book feels a great sense of guilt for the lives of those three children. And in the final moments, before the sisters can stop it, the book jumps into a fire – it’s not a stretch, it did fly to the sisters in the first film – destroying itself and the magic that brought the sisters back. Or, maybe it doesn’t and we get a new Hocus Pocus film every Halloween for the rest of our lives! So long as it comes with a talking cat (with an accent), and that crazy walk that the three of them do, I’m in! Also, their hair is never allowed to change. Ever.