Anthony Weiner owes Rob Ford a big, fat, thank you text. The Toronto mayor’s crack-smoking scandal is the latest bumbling politico to hijack the headlines, and in particular, a favorite subject to be lampooned by late night hosts.
In case you’ve been holed up in a D.A.R.E sweatshirt cocoon, Ford is the Toronto mayor who was saddled with allegations that he was caught smoking crack on video. In a news conference on Tuesday he admitted, “Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine,” he said. “But no, do I, am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.” This slippery slope of shoddy substance abuse logic had late night hosts in a comedy stupor of their own last night. Read on for our round-up of the best Rob Ford jokes of last night from Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and more.
1. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Stewart poked pun at Ford’s overly casual excuse (“in a drunken stupor”) for smoking crack: “Am I a crack user? No, I’m a social crack user,” he said. “When I drink, yes sometimes I smoke a little crack, it’s how I am.” He also offered a pep talk to the city of Toronto.
2. The Colbert Report
Colbert preferred to focus on the positives of Ford’s admission: “but on the bright side, he is personally taking crack off the streets of Toronto.” He then pretended to smoke crack in an attempt to understand Ford’s drug-using timeline: “Rob Ford can’t change the past, he can’t even remember the past. I mean what part of ‘drunken stupor’ does the media not understand?”
3. Jimmy Kimmel Live
Kimmel created a handy-dandy guide for “How to tell if your mayor is smoking crack,” featuring footage of Ford in fits of rage and bumping into things.
Conan O’Brien killed two funny birds with one stone, with his opening monologue on Ford and Obamacare: “So apparently, if your government healthcare system works, you can do whatever the hell you want. You can smoke whatever you want, they don’t care!”
5. The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Ferguson featured soundtracks corresponding to particular drug habits and made a Ford fat joke: “Looks like the only thing that guy smokes is ham!”
6. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
And Leno’s take? “At least he had a good excuse,” he said. “Here, we all thought he was a cokehead, a crackhead, turns out he was just a drunk.”