Dan Snierson
November 08, 2013 AT 05:00 AM EST

1. Mark Wahlberg to produce Julius Caesar biopic
He’s also producing the Entourage movie, which explains such lines for Vince as “The fault, dear Turtle, is not in our stars but in our writers and directors. They are underlings…”

2. Bob Barker to celebrate landmark birthday Dec. 12 on The Price Is Right
If you guessed he’s turning 95…you have overbid. The actual retail age of Bob Barker is…90.

3. Sloth alert! Animal Planet to debut docuseries Meet the Sloths on Nov. 9
It was actually supposed to air last year, but the project moved more slowly than expected.

4. Meredith Vieira denies she was drunk while sending string of ”incompetent” tweets to try to wish friend well
“Leeve thtttttt 2us!” tweeted Kathie Lee and Hoda.

5. Two university physicists publish paper ”Traversable Achronal Retrograde Domains in Spacetime,” which attempts to explain the science behind Doctor Who‘s time machine TARDIS
Their colleagues say the waste-time continuum has been forever altered by this theory.

6. Tori Spelling reveals in memoir Spelling It Like It Is that she made sex tape with husb
Permission to quickly move on to the next item?

7. The CW developing drama based on Fred Durst’s life
[Announcer voice] What if who you were was not who you wanted to be? What if your Yankees hat was the wrong color? What if you did it all for the nookie…but the nookie wasn’t enough?

8. Abe Vigoda, 92, shimmies on stage in wombat suit at Phish’s Halloween concert
What, you didn’t think we could find news about a celebrity older than Bob Barker?

9. Mad Men makeup artist says that she has to shave Jon Hamm up to three times a day
“Must be nice to get such long breaks,” sighed the makeup artist for The Crazy Ones as she lathered up Robin Williams for the fifth time that morning.

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