Jessica Miglio
Chris Nashawaty
December 04, 2013 AT 05:00 AM EST

Delivery Man

type
Movie
Current Status
In Season
mpaa
PG-13
runtime
105 minutes
Wide Release Date
11/22/13
performer
Chris Pratt, Cobie Smulders, Vince Vaughn
director
Ken Scott
genre
Comedy

We gave it a C

In Vince Vaughn’s latest lowbrow, high-concept comedy, the fast-talking firecracker from Swingers and Wedding Crashers looks exhausted. You get the sense from his red-rimmed eyes and lifeless patter that even he’s tired of the junk he’s been cranking out lately. An uninspired remake of the recent — and far better — Canadian import Starbuck, Delivery Man is the story of a Brooklyn screwup named David Wozniak, who years ago donated his sperm to a fertility clinic for money. It wasn’t just a one-time lark. During a 33-month period in the ’90s, David was paid to ”wrestle the dragon” 633 times (no wonder Vaughn looks so worn-out), resulting in 533 children. Now some of those kids are suing to find out the identity of their donor dad. Oh yeah, and David’s in-the-dark girlfriend (How I Met Your Mother‘s Cobie Smulders) tells him that she’s pregnant too. Honestly, the setup sounds more promising than the hash that Vaughn and writer-director Ken Scott make of it. The lazy script jerks back and forth between masturbation-joke slapstick and gloppy sentimentality as David seeks out his offspring and tries to help them like a creepy guardian angel. The only saving grace is Chris Pratt as Vaughn’s deadpan best friend. Otherwise, Delivery Man is a limp-noodle story about an unlikable guy who manages to grow up and become a marginally less unlikable guy. C

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