Dan Snierson
December 06, 2013 AT 05:00 AM EST

1. Prince William sings ”Livin’ on a Prayer” with Jon Bon Jovi and Taylor Swift at London gala
Meanwhile, in a seedy karaoke bar, a nearly nude Prince Harry was seen crushing “Dr. Feelgood” with Miley Cyrus and Vince Neil.

2. After co-anchoring North Dakota TV-station newscast, Will Ferrell’s Ron Burgundy serves as guest anchor on SportsCenter
Look for such catchphrases as “Milking the clock was a bad choice!” “I love Jim Lampley!” and “You are a smelly Pittsburgh Pirate hooker!”

3. Australian mayor tells Justin Bieber, ”Clean up your mess” after he spray-paints graffiti on hotel
Bieber was caught when detectives spotted his handlers tracing dotted lines on the wall to guide him as he drew his letters.

4. Lady Gaga and the Muppets’ Thanksgiving special bombs in ratings
It’s possible viewers were turned off by seeing Gaga parade around in a felt-and-fur dress while a sad pile of skinned Muppets lay motionless on the floor.

5. Journey guitarist Neal Schon and ex-Real Housewives of D.C. star Michaele Salahi to air their wedding live via pay-per-view on Dec. 15
I’m betting a lot of people will not go separate ways with $14.95 that night.

6. Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper reveals he’s gay to help closeted contestant
It was a touching moment until Jillian got in the contestant’s face and shouted, “Come out!!! I don’t wanna hear ‘I can’t’!!! The only way you’re staying in the closet is if you die in it!!! Drop and gimme 10 ‘I’m gay’s!!!”

7. Catfish host Nev Schulman signs deal to pen book about digital-age dating
He never even had to meet the publishers face-to-face. They just offered him all this money over Facebook. It’s almost too good to be true!

8. Star Trek alum George Takei releases fragrance called Eau My
Analysts are projecting his celebrity scent to sell slightly better than William Shatner’s Shat Myself.

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